07.05.16 Pt. 5

This is something I wrote after a month long bender. It was the first or second day I had been completely sober the whole day. That’s when I wrote all the previous pieces as well-upon reflection of some of the more drastic experiences I had. I at least wrote one piece covering the bulk of the experiences I had while experimenting with one drug or another.

My interpretation of sobriety is like this:

It feels as if I’ve been awakened by a bucket of ice cold water to the face after a deep month long, drug induced slumber in which my prescription was drastically skewed and distorted.

It’s like when you’re startled from a nightmare and you’re panicked and scared, struggling to distinguish reality from what was fabricated.

I woke up during a bad acid trip when the molly was barely exiting my system. I woke up when I read the text that shattered my heart worse than I did my phone screen.

My best friend of seven years who frowned upon drugs more than anything else had found out I had been using. It was the last straw. I tried so hard to conceal the truth to protect her but I could hear the pain in her voice when I called her.

“I don’t even know who you are anymore.” she cried.

“Neither do I,”

She claimed she couldn’t sit there idly while I did this to myself.

“Don’t speak to me until you have your shit together.”

Just like that, she vanished into the wind. I crumbled into the ground wanting to die.


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